We can be heroes, not just for one day!

Hi everyone,

Our last post referred to a couple of sporting heroes and legends, Mohammad Ali and Tiger Woods. Here we want to talk some more about heroes.

We choose our heroes for many different reasons and our heroes can come from many different areas of life such as sport, politics, the arts, science, human endeavour and achievement etc. Alternatively, our heroes can come from the people we find closest to us, our family, friends or neighbours.

There is indeed much that we can learn for ourselves from the heroes we choose. Here is a simple task, three steps to walking a heroes walk.

Step #1: - Choose 3 people you admire. They can be someone you know personally or someone you don't, someone famous or someone from your circle of family or friends, they may be living, dead, fictional or real.

Step #2: - With each person write down three qualities that they possess or characteristics that you love.

Step #3 - The next time you face a challenge in life, think about what those people would do in the situation. Then ask yourself, which of the characteristics and qualities I listed above would I need to grow in order to deal more effectively with this challenge or difficulty?

We can be heroes, just for one day - David Bowie

But really? Just for one day?

Oftentimes, when we face challenges in life and when we struggle to find the strength to overcome these difficulties, we find it easier and even seductive to wallow in self-pity, come up with excuses and then proceed to give ourselves a hard time.

We forget however, that the real solution, the real act of heroism is never too far away. It's inside, within ourselves. Maybe we are just a little afraid to let it out. Here is an extremely powerful quote which expresses just this.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of the universe.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of the universe that is within us.

It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

This quote has been often attributed to Nelson Mandela and is said to have been taken from his inaugural address in 1994. However, it appears that the author actually is American writer and lecturer Marianne Williamson.

Make it a great week, it's your choice.

My best
Séamus

'The Tiger Woods Effect'

This weekend has seen the 2007 British Open Championship played at Carnoustie, Scotland. It ended in great drama with a play off between Padraig Harrington and Spain's Sergio Garcia. In the end, it was to be the first Irish win in the competition for sixty years. However, the pre-tournament favourite and and going for a three in a row was Tiger Woods, and this has given me the chance to talk a little about the most famous golfer of the moment.

There are a few definitions out there of what exactly the 'Tiger Woods Effect' is. I like to think of it in the following way. When Tiger Woods started off the only coach he had was his father. As he has got more and more successful he has had even more challenges to deal with in life. It was very recently, June 18th this year, that Tiger became a father for the first time and before this year's U.S. Open he expressed his desire to work hard at balancing life on and off the golf course.

When asked about how he planned to do just that he answered "Well, you just do. It's just time management and understanding where your priorities are, and our priorities are Sam. That's the one priority." "My mom and dad were always there for me, and I know I can't physically be there all the time," he says. "That's something that's going to be frustrating because you want to be there, and unfortunately I can't be there physically all the time, but I'll try and be there as much as I possibly can."

Though he has been the most successful golfer of recent years with 54 PGA tour wins to date, Tiger is still quite a way off the figures of legends such as Sam Snead (82) and Jack Nicklaus (73). Nicklaus also still holds the record of major tournament wins with 18 while Tiger stands at 12 and as we saw in this year's U.S. Open he has yet to come from behind on the final day to win a major. It would seem then that there are still quite a few professional goals for Tiger to meet.

It would appear that the higher up the ladder we go, the more support we need and this is what I want to refer to as the 'Tiger Woods Effect'. The better Tiger gets, the more he needs to improve until he becomes the best.

This is true in all contexts. An effective organisation will want to see its top people working in a way that inspires people around. Good managers and leaders want to become great managers and leaders. But, it can be lonely at the top. This is where a coach can be an effective and creative partner to maximise potential. Coaching is all about the client going from where they are now to where they ideally want to be. Coaches see their clients as having all the resources they need to achieve their success. Sometimes though, we aren't as focused on where we want to be with our personal and/or professional lives as we would want. Sometimes we get in the way of ourselves. A coach works in conjunction with the client to expand horizons, highlight possibilities, open up choices, develop strategies etc.

Coaching supports people to develop in ways that they may never have been able to otherwise. It moves people from good to great, from great to legendary.

One of Tiger's better moments!!

• Sports & NLP

For those of you interested in more on how you can apply NLP in a sports context, check out 'Optmising Sports Performance Using NLP' by Ted Garratt.

It's a really practical book with lots of very useful ideas for professionals and serious athletes as well as being a useful tool for the occasional player and complete beginner.

There is a variety of activities to help with warming up, practising, rehearsal, psyching up, becoming more relaxed and focusing attention. You can order the book from Amazon in the US or UK by clicking on the links below.

'Optimising Sports Performance Using NLP' - Amazon UK

'Optimising Sports Performance Using NLP' - Amazon US

Make it a great week, it's your choice.

My best

Séamus

Hannah Montana, Big Butts & A Useful Quote

• HANNAH MONTANA & SONGS FOR THE NON-CONSCIOUS MIND

Another one of the presuppositions of NLP is that the non-conscious mind balances the conscious and is benevolent. It is said to be like a 7-9 year old child working for our benefit. Oftentimes when we are not sure about something we say "Let me sleep on it and I'll get back to you" or "Let me consult with the pillow".

Anyway in my house I have my own walking, talking non-conscious mind who loves nothing better than listening to music and throwing poses in front of the mirror. Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus) from the Disney Channel is a big favourite at the moment and for those of you who don't know, she plays the part-time rock star/part-time school girl daughter of Billy Ray Stewart (Billy Ray Cyrus, of 'Achy, Breaky Heart' fame), you get the picture!

Here is a link to one of the songs 'Who Said?' (yes the TV programme comes with the obligatory CD).

www.miley-cyrus.com/lyrics/whosaid.php

and the girl herself in action.

Simple language with a very simple, yet powerful message and it is good to see that kids are getting this kind of input when, from every corner they are bombarded with negative messages and inappropriate language. If you have to buy a present for someone and want to give some music we certainly recommend Miss Montana. As this kind of teen pop goes, it isn't actually that bad. It does get a touch scary though when you find yourself looking for it on the mp3 player!! Then again though, that is probably my non-conscious mind doing what it needs to do!!

Anyway to give the girl her due, here is a quote from one of the episodes.

'But' is just a word that you use when you are afraid to try. - Hannah Montana

That reminded me of a coach that I heard of recently who described their job as that of a but(t)! reducer. A great description for sure! So the obvious question is 'How big is your but load?' I'm sure that we could all do with some of our but load being reduced!!

• YES BUT ... versus YES AND ...

Talking of buts, oftentimes we come up with obstacles to what we really want, we tend to express them in the frame - Yes but ...

Yes, I really want to .... .... but I .... ....

(I am sure that there are plenty of things that could be filled in on both sides of that frame).

You will find it useful to change the frame from 'Yes but ... ...' to 'Yes and ... ...'

Yes I really want to ... ... (find a new job) and ... ... ( I am working on updating my CV at the moment.)

I believe that this simple change in language has a great effect and opens up a host of possibilities that you mightn't have ever have thought of.

Idea taken from 'Handing Over' Jane Revell & Susan Norman

If you want to move forward with any issue that you have, then that simple change from 'Yes but' to 'Yes and' will go a long way to get you there.

• ANOTHER QUOTE

Here is a quote I came across recently after having being reminded about the same idea by a friend of mine.

"Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying 'Make me feel important'. Never forget that when working with people".Mary Kay Ash - founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics

There is a lot to be learned from that quote. Putting it into practice and taking the time to make sure that others feel genuinely valued is often the best way to make a lasting impression.

You'll want to greet everyone you meet with enthusiasm, be it on the phone or face-to-face. It is one of the quickest and simplest ways of building rapport.

Think also about how attentively you are listening when you are in conversation.How closely do we really listen to the other person? Are we really having a conversation with ourselves in our own head at the same time? are we thinking of what to say next, second guessing the other person's reaction? The trick is to slow down, be in the moment and learn to simply enjoy the connection.

Actively think back to previous conversations or the last time that you spoke to that person. What did they share with you? Remembering the important things will demonstrate your concern and interests in their needs.

Remember also to be grateful for the things that people do for you, however big or small. As you go through your day you will find it useful to consider how you can take a step toward recognition and appreciation. when you make the people around you feel important, you create a climate of trust and mutual appreciation, which can change your life and your results.

The Law Of Attraction states that ..... Appreciation attracts more.

• USE YOUR EDGE - THE SITE

Do you think that coaching might be for you? Visit the Personal & Business Coaching of the Resources section www.useyouredge.com/sign_in.php and check out our 'Your Commitment to Challenge and Change' questionnaire, which will give you some immediate feedback on your suitability right now.

You will also find a variety of teaching materials focusing on motivation, needs, learner autonomy, affective factors and correction and suitable for use as course start-ups.

To access this aprt of the website we ask you to register with us. We are constantly adding to and developing the Resources section, where you will soon be able to download a wide variety of coaching, NLP and educational related material.

Remember that if it is possible for anyone in the world, then it is possible for you (and that is yet another NLP presupposition).

My best

Séamus

It's All In Your Mind!

Hi everyone,

Staying on the 'sports' theme of goals here is a story about a golfer who managed to get his score down quite dramatically without ever having touched the greens! There is also a quote from the golfer Jack Nicklaus along with a series of other interesting quotes.

18 Holes in His Mind

Major James Nesmeth had a dream of improving his golf game - and he developed a unique method of achieving his goal. Until he devised this method, he was just your average weekend golfer, shooting in mid- to low-nineties. Then, for seven years, he completely quit the game. Never touched a club. Never set foot on a fairway.

Ironically, it was during this seven-year break from the game that Major Nesmeth came up with his amazingly effective technique for improving his game - a technique we can all learn from. In fact, the first time he set foot on a golf course after his hiatus from the game, he shot an astonishing 74! He had cut 20 strokes off his average without having swung a golf club in seven years! Unbelievable. Not only that, but his physical condition had actually deteriorated during those seven years.

What was Major Nesmeth's secret? Visualization. You see, Major Nesmeth had spent those seven years as a prisoner of war in North Vietnam. During those seven years, he was imprisoned in a cage that was approximately four and one-half feet high and five feet long.

During almost the entire time he was imprisoned, he saw no one, talked to no one and experienced no physical activity. During the first few months he did virtually nothing but hope and pray for his release. Then he realized he had to find some way to occupy his mind or he would lose his sanity and probably his life. That's when he learned to visualize.

In his mind, he selected his favorite golf course and started playing golf. Every day, he played a full 18 holes at the imaginary country club of his dreams. He experienced everything to the last detail. He saw himself dressed in his golfing clothes. He smelled the fragrance of the trees and the freshly trimmed grass. He experienced different weather conditions - windy spring days, overcast winter days, and sunny summer mornings. In his imagination, every detail of the tee, the individual blades of grass, the trees, the singing birds, the scampering squirrels and the lay of the course became totally real.

He felt the grip of the club in his hands. He instructed himself as he practiced smoothing out his down-swing and the follow-through on his shot. Then he watched the ball arc down the exact center of the fairway, bounce a couple of times and roll to the exact spot he had selected, all in his mind.

In the real world, he was in no hurry. He had no place to go. So in his mind he took every step on his way to the ball, just as if he were physically on the course. It took him just as long in imaginary time to play 18 holes as it would have taken in reality. Not a detail was omitted. Not once did he ever miss a shot, never a hook or a slice, never a missed putt.

Seven days a week. Four hours a day. Eighteen holes. Seven years. Twenty strokes off. He shot a 74.

This has been a popular story for motivational speakers over the years and you will find it in books published by Zig Ziglar and Jack Canfield.

The Golden Bear

Jack Nicklaus, the great professional golfer, explained his imaging technique. He said "First I 'see' the ball where I want it to finish - nice and white and sitting up high on the bright green grass. Then the scene quickly changes, and I 'see' the ball going there; its path, trajectory and shape, even its behavior on the landing. Then," says Nicklaus, "there's sort of a fade-out, and the next scene shows me making the kind of swing that will turn the previous images into reality."

A few goal orientated quotes

To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to. - Kahlil Gibran

Man is a goal seeking animal. His life only has meaning if he is reaching out and striving for his goals. - Aristotle

If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time. - Author unknown

If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable. - Seneca

A goal properly set is halfway reached. - Abraham Lincoln

The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don't define them, learn about them or even seriously consider them as believable or acheivable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventure with them. - Denis Waitley

Some men give up their designs when they have almost reached the goal; while others, on the contrary, obtain a victory by exerting, at the last moment, more vigorous efforts than ever before. - Herodotus

Like more information on coaching or NLP? Visit the site at www.useyouredge.com.

My best

Séamus

Get S.M.A.R.T.

Hi everyone,

Last month we spoke of a couple of the presuppositions and foundations of NLP. Yet another is ‘Begin with the end in mind’. The principle here is to know your outcome. Remember that a goal, be it personal or professional, which is well expressed is a goal half achieved.

We all have goals in life but how often do we actually achieve them?

S.M.A.R.T. GOALS

One way to make sure that your goals are more achievable is to make sure that they meet the S.M.A.R.T criteria. S.M.A.R.T. is an acronym to assist you in remembering all the steps that you need to take to get you goals to a place where they need to be so as that you can really get effective results.

S – Specific & Simple

M – Measurable & Meaningful

A – Attainable, As If Now & In All Areas

R – Realistic

T – Timed, Tangible & Toward

What exactly do we mean here? Well, let's look at each letter one by one.

S – SPECIFIC & SIMPLE

Specific

Jack Canfield in his book, The Success Principles, states that “Vague goals produce vague results.” Therefore our goal needs to be specific. If one of your goals is to get a better job, well here you need to be really specific. You will find it useful to think of specifically what kind of better job you want to find, with specifically what salary, where specifically do you want to work, with what specific responsibilities, perks, with what specific timetable etc. Here are some possible questions you can ask yourself.

*Who: Who is involved in achieving this goal?
*What: What exactly do you want to accomplish?
*Where: Identify a location. (Where do you want to achieve this goal?)
*When: Establish a time frame. (By when do want to have this goal achieved?)
*Which: Identify requirements and constraints. (What resources and support do you need to make this goal a reality?)
*Why: Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal. (How will your life be different by achieving this goal?)

Simple

The goal also needs to be simply written. As we said in last month’s newsletter, we can understand the non-conscious mind to be like a 7 to 9 year old child who loves us very much and who is working for our benefit. The simpler the message the quicker it will be received by our non-conscious minds.

M – MEASURABLE & MEANINGFUL

Measurable

Our goals also will benefit from being measurable. As a result, it will be important to establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal. When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement. You are inevitably propelled on to bigger and greater things.

To determine if your goal is measurable, ask questions such as......How much? How many? How will I know when it is accomplished? Say you want to lose some weight. How many kilos do you want to lose? How will you know that you have achieved that? Maybe you'll be able to fit into that dress you love for your sister's wedding! Therefore, the idea is to make sure that you get the last step in when you are writing your goal. What is the last thing that has to happen so that you know you’ve got your goal?

Meaningful for you!!

This might seem obvious but I wonder how clear it really is. How many times do we find that we are doing things for others and not really for ourselves? Oftentimes in this context, it is useful to be a little selfish. Either way, when your goal is really meaningful for you and when you are really committed, your commitment is like the fuel in your car that takes you from where you are now to where you want to be.

A – ATTAINABLE, AS IF NOW & IN ALL AREAS

Attainable

When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways you can make them come true. You develop the attitudes, abilities, skills, and financial capacity to reach them. You begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals. You can attain any goal you set yourself when you plan your steps wisely and establish a time frame that allows you to carry out those steps. Goals that may have seemed far away and out of reach eventually move closer and become attainable, not because your goals shrink, but because you grow and expand to match them. When you list your goals you build your self-image. You see yourself as worthy of these goals, and develop the traits and personality that allow you to possess them.

As if now!!

Think in the now and write your goals in Present Tense language. Picture yourself having achieved that goal and describe what your life is like. If you frame it in the future, the goal itself will move further into the future as you move into your future.

In All Areas of Your Life

A can also stand for In All Areas of Your Life. Does your goal fit in with all areas of your life? How helpful might it be to ask for more responsibility at work if it is going to mean that you have less time for family, friends, hobbies etc?

R – REALISTIC

To be realistic, a goal must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work. You will need to truly believe that it can be accomplished. Ask yourself what you have achieved before and how you can go beyond that. Furthermore, be sure that every goal represents real substantial progress. You will want to create a real track record of success. Oftentimes, a higher goal is easier to reach than a low one because a low goal exerts low motivational force. Some of the hardest things you've ever accomplished actually seem easy when you look back and don’t take much effort at all because you are really in the moment and truly focused on what you want to achieve.

T – TIMED, TANGIBLE & TOWARD

Timed

A goal will be most effective when it is some kind of time-frame. Rather than I want to lose some weight (someday), anchor in some time-frame, a specific future date (September 1st) to help give a sense of urgency.

Tangible

A goal is tangible when you can experience it with each or any of the senses, that is, taste, touch, smell, sight or hearing. As we said above imagine yourself having achieved your goal. What can you see? What can you hear? How does your success smell? sweet? When you think of your goal in a tangible sense, you have a much better chance of making it specific and measurable and thus attainable.

Toward

This refers to focusing on what you want rather that what you don’t want. It’s not enough to say I want to stop smoking. This is using ‘away from’ language. When we use ‘toward’ language our goals automatically become more achievable, e.g. I want to look healthier, enjoy my food more, have more energy and have more money to spend on myself and my family.

Stay S.M.A.R.T.

If you want more information on coaching or NLP, visit the site at http://www.useyouredge.com/

My best

Séamus

"It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.”
Professor Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

I'm getting engaged!

Hi folks,

Well, yes I have finally decided to take the plunge!!

But no, not like that. I finally got around to reading, well actually to listening to a book recommended to me recently. 'The Power Of Full Engagement' by Jim Loehr & Tony Schwartz. The authors argue that managing energy not time is the key to enduring high performance. Energy is the X-Factor that ignites talent and skill.

They started off working with some of the best tennis players such as Pete Sampras, Jim Courier, Sergi Brugera and Monica Seles observing and helping them improve on how they walked back to the baseline, held their shoulders and heads, focused their eyes, patterned their breathing etc in order to maximise their ability to recuperate their energy levels between points. Having worked with a host of other sportspeople including world famous golfers, boxers, baseball players etc nowadays they work in the corporate environment with executives and entrepreneurs as well as teachers, clergy, doctors and nurses etc having brought the results and consequences of their success with top athletes into environments just as challenging and competitive.

Jim and Tony suggest that the key to success is based on four important principles.

• Full engagement relies on four separate yet connected sources of energy.

• Physical
• Mental
• Emotional
• Spiritual

Only in developing, supporting and applying your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual ´muscles' can you become fully engaged. Full engagement is not one-dimensional and each area influences the others.

• Your life is a persistent marathon, its rather a series of sprints. To be successful you need to balance recovery time with actual sprinting. Energy capacity diminishes with underuse as well as overuse.Therefore we need to balance expenditure with actual renewal.


• To build strength and capacity we must push beyond our normal limits, training in the same way that top athletes do. An element of stress can be the key to growth, just as a muscle needs flexing to get stronger and build its capacity. Therefore, moving outside our comfort zone and all that it brings can expand our capacity and bring more flexibility in all four energy areas.


• Jim and Tony found that the less successful tennis players didn't have rituals to help them recover between points. Their heart rates remained high and they couldn't seem to relax and calm their nerves. However, just like the most successful tennis players, who developed rituals to help them relax between in the short time between points, we all need positive energy rituals as the key to full engagement and high performance in our daily lives. When they talk about rituals, the authors refer to carefully defined and highly structured behaviours that become automatic and non-conscious over time. Once these ritual are based in a deeply held value, they inevitably pull us forward.

Again Jim and Tony suggest that making changes that endure is a three step process.

• Define Purpose - get a clear sense of what matters most; articulate the most important values in your life and get a compelling vision of what you want your life to be like, both personally and professionally.


• Face the Truth - How are you spending your energy now?


• Take Action - to close the gap between who you are and who you want to be.

If you are interested tyo find out more on full engagement, check out Tony and Jim's website
http://www.lgeperformance.com/assessment_profile.html, where you can do a short full engagement questionnaire and receive some immediate feedback on your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energy levels.

You can also buy the book through Amazon at www.useyouredge.com/products

• I HAVE VISION!!

Defining one's purpose in life is all important in the coaching process. Would you like to

• get clarity about your vision and make sure it is powerful and compelling?


• embrace and envision your life mentally, emotionally and with all your senses?


• identify strategies to help make your vision become a reality?


• create an action plan and implement it already?

Visit the Personal & Business Coaching sections at http://www.useyouredge.com/sign_in.php
and you will find a number of worksheets to support you with this.

If you would like to clarify your Life Purpose, Business Mission and Legacy, we offer a complimentary 40 minute telephone session where we can support you in going forward in the process. Contact us at yoursuccess@useyouredge.com to book a time and start to live the life you truly want.

• HOW DO YOU WASH THE DISHES?

In part of her research the family therapist Virgina Satir, (one of the people Richard Bandler and John Grinder studied in their research for NLP) found that there were more than 250 ways of doing the dishes, depending on who was doing it and what they were using!!

You can only wonder how many arguments those differing ways have caused as a result!!

That brings us to one of the most important presuppositions of NLP.

The Map Is Not The Territory or The Menu Is Not The Meal.

According to the Hungarian biologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in his book ´Flow', we take in approximately two million bits of information per second through the senses. However, our nervous system can't actually handle that amount of information, so it therefore gets downsized into manageable chunks of 7 plus or minus two chunks, about 134 bits. As a result, by a process of deletion, distortion and generalisation we leave out a tremendous amount of information. Consequently, we cannot truly know the world as it is, not only because our conscious awareness is limited, but even that tiny bit that gets in, we experience through the conscious and non-conscious filters that we have like our beliefs, values and attitudes. Some of these filters are called metaprogrammes in NLP.

Therefore because everyone experiences the world differently, we say that the map is not the territory; the menu is not the meal. It is obvious then, that I will have a different experience of reality than you do. It is not about one map of reality being more right than another, just that they are different. In NLP, we only ask if the current map we have is the most useful one for us right now.Oftentimes, when we change the writing on our maps, we can work with the territory a lot differently, more effectively and get better results.

Another consequence of this NLP presupposition is in life we tend to get what we look for, what you focus on determines what appears in your world. It's almost like the web. If we type into a search engine the word poverty, we eliminate a whole load of information and only get what we look for. On the other hand, if you type in the word wealth, again you are going to pull up what you look for and delete everything that is not related to it. This is really a pretty simple choice and a choice that we make every second with every thought we have.

• IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS!!

Speaking of thoughts, did you know that we have up to 60,000 thoughts a day?

Use Your Edge partners with Authentic Change in the United States. Authentic Change is a specialized transition and thinking company. It is an international collective of trained experts in all areas of change ranging from the multi-dynamic conditions of the individual, the athletic and performance arena to the corporate environment.

Check out their inspirational 'Genius Within' Video and see the power of your thoughts already! http://www.authenticchange.com/genius-movie.html


My best

Séamus