Personal Coaching Styles - Directing Style

Have you ever come away from a conversation with a different understanding than that of the person with whom you are talking?

Have you ever thought you had a personality conflict with a person?

Have you ever tried to persuade someone of something and couldn't only to find to find that another person have been able to do so?

In a previous post we introduced The Personal Coaching Styles Inventory®, a self assessment tool that quickly determines natural communication styles and identifies four principal communication style traits.

• The Directing Style
• The Presenting Style
• The Mediating Style
• The Strategising Style
  

The inventory helps you discover why and how these natural tendencies influence behaviour and interaction and helps develop awareness of your communication strengths and liabilities. You can use this tool to identify and appreciate the styles of others and as a result form better relationships by tailoring your communication. Though there may be one style which dominates a little more, people can show similar scores on more than one style and this shows their flexibility and ability to adapt their way of communicating to different moments, contexts and people.

The Directing Style
"This is your Captain speaking"

People who use this style tend to be natural leaders and like to be in control. They are results orientated and eagerly take on new, often risky, challenges and are quick to set goals and work hard to achieve them. They are fast paced and quick thinkers, decisive, visionary and are easily able to see the big picture.

On the other hand, they have a tendency to dominate others. They can be be judgemental and impatient with those working too slowly. They prefer to work alone and have difficulty trusting others with work.

Here is a humorous look at some of the characteristics typical of the Directing Style from the Monthy Python team.

Thanks go to Pedro Pablo R. and Carmen M. from Accelya Madrid for suggesting this video.

The Personal Coaching Styles Inventory® is available as part of The Coaching Clinic®, a two-day leadership programme designed to train managers, executives, leaders and supervisors to use coaching techniques in their work relationships, and thus gain the advantage of bringing a coach approach to managing people.

If you would like more detailed information on The Coaching Clinic® contact us at training@useyouredge.com

Coaching Skills - Acknowledging

It’s probably fair to say that we don't usually spend nearly enough time as people would like in acknowledging and celebrating the successes of the people around us. As a result, the skill of acknowledging is an important one for both the coach and the coachee and one that oftentimes takes quite some practice. The dictionary defines 'to acknowledge' as 'to express recognition of' or 'to express thanks or gratitude for'. In coaching terms acknowledging is the process of bringing out the coachee’s best by reminding them of what they already know, who they already are and what they have already achieved and celebrating it with them.

In sport acknowledging plays a vitally important role. Most sports teams or athletes have their set of fans who enthusiastically get behind their team/player, offer support, provide feedback and give lots of encouragement throughout the match. Athletes feed off of that support and it can spur them on to greater effort and new heights of achievement and performance.

On a day to day basis however, in the workplace and at home, we are often too busy with what we have to get done or catch up on to take the time to recognise how much has already been accomplished. It's therefore important to stop and remind ourselves on a regular basis of our successes and of those around us, be they big or small.

When acknowledging, it’s important to recognise effort and progress not just milestones that have been fulfilled. You will also want to highlight the personal attributes that were used to reach the goals and acknowledge who the person is or has become not just what the person has done or achieved. Be specific, genuine and timely in your acknowledging. The more vague you are, the later you leave it, the less impact you have. Effectively endorsing and acknowledging people’s strengths helps them explore new possibilities and get even more energised to move toward the future.

"You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them but building a fire within" - Bob Nelson

"I can live for two months on a good compliment" - Mark Twain

Coaching Skills - Powerful Discovery Questions

Powerful discovery questioning is at the core of effective coaching and it is the ability to ask questions that support the coachee to move forward. Coaching questions seek to uncover truth, clarify meaning, test commitment and open avenues of thought. Well-placed questions allow the coach to guide and direct the flow of the coaching interaction in a direction that yields the most discovery, prompts the greatest change and is of optimal benefit for the coachee. In order to maximise effectiveness, it is important for a coach to free themselves of their own agenda and come to the coaching conversation with a sense of child-like curiosity.

There are many different types of coaching questions for a variety of different purposes. Nonetheless, there are five simple question words which are of great value, what, when, where, who, which and how. These help you form the type of open questions that have the effect that the coachee finds new options where they thought their were none and begins to think in a different way. The question why can be problematic as it tends to look for justification and can put the coachee on the defensive. Closed questions, questions that have a yes or no answer, can sometimes be useful but more so for clarification, checking commitment and establishing accountability. Remember also to avoid asking queggestions, suggestions (usually from your own agenda) dressed as questions.

The delivery of a coach's questions can can determine it's impact and can greatly effect it's power, urgency, importance and directness to the coachee. It is useful to consider the following elements, your pace, your tone, your volume, your body language and how animated your voice is as well as of course, your words.

"So why do coaches ask questions anyway?”

"...the answers are of secondary importance. The information is not for me (the coach) to make use of and may not have to be complete. I only need to know that the coachee has the necessary information. The answers given by the coachee frequently indicate to the coach the line to follow with subsequent questions...”

John Whitmore, ‘Coaching For Performance’

Coaching Skills - Listening The Chinese Way

Solid listening skills are an essential part of the toolkit of an effective coach. Listening to another person for the purpose of supporting his or her growth and development involves knowing how and when to listen and respond, what to listen to and for, what the coachee's words actually mean and when it is appropriate to move the conversation in another direction.

How well you pay attention to what people tell you will determine to a great extent the quality of the information that you can learn from them. As you listen you will also realise that there is not only the words being said but also things such as about intonation, body language, vocabulary etc. You can also hear what's not being said as well as a person's beliefs, values, emotions, states, strengths, perceived liabilities, needs, wants etc.

Listening as a result, is more of an art than a science and something that requires consolidation. A helpful tool to consider in this process is the older style Chinese Character for the word Listening. (Today they use a less complex representation in their writing.)

Each section or portion of the character draws its meaning from other aspects and collectively tell the story of what they believed it meant to ‘listen’ to someone. From the bottom left:

King = Show respect for the speaker

Ear = This is what you use to listen and gather info

10 or maximum = Give 100% or all of your attention

Eye = See all there is to see

One or single = Give all your attention to the speaker

Heart = Get a sense all that is being said

Bringing all of these elements together as you listen will allow you not only to communicate more effectively with all of those around you, but help to ensure you get better results with the clients, coachees, team members, learners or participants etc that you work with.

"Listening requires giving up our favourite human pastime - involvement in ourselves and our own self-interest." - Sonya Hamlin

“To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation” - Chinese proverb

G.R.O.W. - A Model for Coaching

There are many models out there to support coaches in their work with clients and coachees. One of the most well-know and commonly used is called the G.R.O.W. model. This model was devised by Sir John Whitmore and described in his book Coaching For Performance. The G.R.O.W. model offers a way of structuring coaching sessions to facilitate an effective and balanced discussion.

G.R.O.W. is an acronym standing for (G)oals, (R)eality, (O)ptions and (W)ill, highlighting the four key steps in its implementation.
By working through these four stages, the model raises an individual’s awareness of their own aspirations, a greater understanding of their current situation, the possibilities open to them, and the actions they could take to achieve their personal and professional goals.

Goal: - What is your outcome? What you want to get out of this session?

Reality: - How do you see your current situation? What is stopping you from getting your goal?

Options: - What options do you have to help you get there?

Will/What Next? - What specific action will you be committing to? What, Where, When and How will you do it?

When it comes to setting goals it is also useful to put your goals through the S.M.A.R.T. criteria which you can read about here from a previous post.

One important skill to keep in mind as you coach and work with your coachee is creating and maintaining Rapport, which you can read more about here.

International Coaching Week - February 5-11, 2012

International Coaching Week (ICW) is a week long global celebration of the coaching profession held annually, during the first full week in February.

Originally founded in 1999 by ICF member Jerri N. Udelson, MCC, ICW is a designated time each year for coaches and clients to educate the public about the value of working with a professional coach and to acknowledge the results and progress made through the coaching process.

During this extended commemoration, coaches around the world offer a variety of activities and pro-bono services in their local communities to share what coaching has the ability to do.

In conjunction with International Coaching Week we are offering 25% off all coaching sessions and processes booked before February 11th.

Coaching The VIP Treatment - Read about the history of the word Coaching

But what exactly is Coaching? - If you would like to find out more about coaching, read the recent post or visit www.useyouredge.com

For more information on coaching investment packages contact yoursuccess@useyouredge.com

Visualization - Dreaming It All Up!

Recently we spoke about how beliefs and values were important in modelling success and saw Michael Flatley from Lord of the Dance talking about what it means for him to prepare for and deliver excellent performance. Here is another interesting video where he talks about how he started dreaming up his success at the age of six.

Some men see things as they are and say, "Why?" I dream of things that never were and say, "Why not?" - George Bernard Shaw

A man's dreams are an index to his greatness - Zadok Rabinowitz

To dream anything that you want to dream. That's the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do. That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits. That is the courage to succeed. - Bernard Edmonds

Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe